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TO MY GUINEA PIGS

NOTES FOR MY FUTURE GUINEA PIGS.
THINGS I'LL DO, THINGS YOU'LL SQUEAK (AND WON'T).

FYI

Sometimes, I have to bring you somewhere else, like last winter when the heat kicked out. Don’t worry too much. I’ll drive slowly down the highway.

Nap Time

Should I put a blanket on your cage while you dream of pellets?

THE WATER

If it’s good enough for you, it’s good enough for me.

LITTLE TOMATOES

You seem to love them. Good. Because I only buy them for you.

YOUR TOENAIL SITUATION

I will clip them periodically. Do not be afraid. (Right before that pink part, right?)

ONIONS

They are poison. I will not feed them to you.

SQUEAK

I think it’s cute.

YOU’LL NEVER BE

My beast of burden.

CILANTRO

I know you like it. That’s why it’s a rare treat.

GENDER

Which one are you? I respect you too much to squeeze you that hard.

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